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Thursday, August 11, 2016

No More Binky

Marlee is a huge binky fan. And when I say huge, I mean HUGE
We started phasing out the binky last year when we decided she could only have it at nap times and in the car. At this point, her obsession grew and not only did she need one binky, she needed two. Since then, she slept with one in her mouth and one in her hand. Yes, she had two binks at all nap times. Total pain in the rear. 
Have you ever tried looking for not only one but two binkies in the pitch dark? Not exactly how I want to spend time out of my day. Or have you ever forgotten the binky on a car ride? Worst mom everrrr!

Regardless of the reasons for getting rid of the binky, we knew the time was coming and it needed to happen soon. With Marlee's third birthday coming up, we decided to rip the tape off and just do it. We were going to be binky free if it was the last thing we did!

So I turned to my wonderful, old friend Pinterest and did a little research. I was trying to find a fun but positive way to be binky free. I knew this was going to be pretty painful for everyone involved. I obviously had no idea how painful...

We decided to make a big day of it. I have been telling her for weeks that we were going to Build a Bear and she could pick out any bear that she wanted. She was going to kiss her binkies goodbye and put them inside the bear. If she was ever missing her binkies, she could hug her bear really tight and feel better. She was 100% on board! She wanted a pink bear with a pink dress. We would go on her birthday so it was an added gift and we could do something fun for her actual birthday since her party wasn't until the next day. 
All systems go. 

So her birthday rolls around, we head to Build a Bear and had a wonderful time! The people at Build a Bear were amazing. Marlee was all for picking out a pink bear, stuffing it with a heart, put the binkies inside without any hesitation, washed the bear, picked out a pink dress, and even named her 'Sissy'. They gave her a birthday sticker and even gave her two matching bows to match her bear. Adorable! Marlee loved Sissy so much and she was so full of joy... until we hit the car.


About half way home, Marlee was just staring at her bear. The look was pure horror. Her face just shouted "What the hell did I just do?". All of a sudden, her bottom lip started to quiver and tears rolled down her face. She never made a single noise, just stared at Sissy with pure sorrow. I think the realization and she could not get the binkies back out was setting in. 

So I turned around and held her hand. I told her that everything was going to be ok. Nope. I should not have said a word because angry Marlee was unleashed. She screamed. Screamed! She threw Sissy across the car and demanded to have her binkies back. She cried and sobbed and was inconsolable. We decided to forfeit lunch at this time and just head home. Marlee continued to scream. I tried everything I could think of to calm her down. She marched right up to her room, threw Sissy in the closet, shut the door, and screamed for her binky. You would have thought that I took her best friend away. She ended up crying herself to sleep in my arms, my chest being covered in tears and snot. Half hour later, she woke and continued this tantrum. Nap time was over!


Later that night as I laid Marlee down to bed, the tantrum started again. Holy cow, I have never seen her act like that. Never in her life has she been so upset. She was hysterical. She never left her bed but to throw Sissy back in the closet and slam the door. She screamed and cried till she was covered in red spots to her face and chest. She was soaked in sweat. She confessed that she did not want a birthday party, she did not want to be three, she did not want cake or cookies or presents or to have her friends over. She just wanted her binky back. She didn't even want a big girl bed anymore, she wanted her crib back. SHE IS THREE! The hardest part was her ability to vocalize how upset she was. And listening to her try to negotiate her way back to her binky. 

I was devastated. I ruined her birthday. Why did I do this on her birthday again? I should have done it the day before. Not exactly smart thinking on my part. But it was done. The binkies were gone. Marlee was up that night until 11:30. She proceeded to search every drawer, every bin, every nook and cranny of her room for a binky. This little sneaky girl even went into her sleeping brothers room to see if she could steal his binky. Poor Nicky was about to be robbed in his sleep - by his own sister! I caught her though and finally got Nick involved. He went right in and told her it was time for bed. Wanna know what happened next? 
She said ok, rolled over, and went to sleep. 
(Insert all the eye rolling emojis!)


We are now one week later. Nick has been amazing with this whole process. Something about dads and their ability to calm and lay the law down at the same time. I was only here one night this week (workkkkk) but he has his routine and its been working great. He throws her in bed, tucks her in, and then checks on her every 10 minutes until she is asleep. Usually takes three checks but no screaming or crying with this method. He is the best and his patience is amazing.


So if anyone is stuck in the hell called binky-land,  I have some advice. 
Just take the damn binky away. Just throw it right in the trash. A forty dollar Build a Bear with two binkies inside currently resides in a dark closet covered in tears and sadness. Marlee hates the thing. A rather large waste of money.

But don't do it on their birthday. Its rather cruel. 
And good luck! Stay strong moms!

Update: Marlee has been doing great with no binky! She has not cried in a week. I even overheard her telling Nicky that he has a binky because he is a baby - but she is a big girl and has no binky!
So proud!